
A smile for you Computer Quotes Daffy Definitions If Operating Systems ran the airlines If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft! The Internet Navy Joke Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding) 20 Things That Would be Different if Microsoft Started Building Cars	If Operating Systems ran the airlines: Unix Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everyone pushes the airplane until it glides, than they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground. Than they push again, jump on again, and so on... Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up. Windows Air The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. Windows NT Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes Windows XP Air Just like Windows and Windows NT Air, but costs even more, and uses even bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes. Also, you have to give a sample of your DNA and forfeit your right to privacy or credit history before boarding. Linux Air Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They Charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, and the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "you had to do what with the seat?"

If Operating Systems ran the airlines:

Unix Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everyone pushes the airplane until it glides, than they jump on and let the
plane coast until it hits the ground. Than they push again, jump on
again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act
exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently
but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just
shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air,
the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out
all the aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes

Windows XP Air

Just like Windows and Windows NT Air, but costs even more, and uses even
bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius
when it explodes. Also, you have to give a sample of your DNA and forfeit
your right to privacy or credit history before boarding.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own
airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They Charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket,
but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the
plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the
seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable,
the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, and the
in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines
about the great trip, but all they can say is, "you had to do what with the
seat?"