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A
smile for you
Computer
Quotes
Daffy
Definitions
If
Operating Systems ran the airlines
If
Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft!
The
Internet Navy Joke
Things
I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding)
20
Things That Would be Different if Microsoft Started Building Cars
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The
following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:
"Things
I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding)":
1.
) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house
4 inches deep.
2. ) If you spray hair
spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller
blades, they can ignite.
3. ) A 3-year old boy's
voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.
) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
underwear and Superman
cape. It is strong enough,
however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all
four walls of a 20x20 ft. Room.
5. ) You should not
throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.
6. ) The glass in windows (even
double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling
fan.
7. ) When you hear the toilet flush and the
words "uh oh", it's already
too late.
8.
) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke -- lots of it.
9.
) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the
movies.
10. ) Certain Lego's will pass through the
digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.
11. )
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12. ) Super glue is forever.
13.
) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still
can't walk on water.
14. ) Pool
filters do not like Jell-O.
15. ) VCR's do not eject
"PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials
show they do.
16. ) Garbage
bags do not make good parachutes.
17. ) Marbles in
gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. ) You
probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.
) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not
like ovens.
20. ) The fire department
in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. )
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms
dizzy.
22. ) The spin cycle on
the washing machine will, however, make cats
dizzy.
23.
) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.
) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and
brake
fluid.
25. ) 80% of women will pass
this on to almost all of their friends, with
or without
kids.
A) For those with no children - this is
totally hysterical.
B) For those who already have
children past this age, this is hilarious.
C) For those
who have children this age, this is not funny.
D) For
those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
E)
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
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